Relationships in Recovery: Balancing Personal and Partner Needs

Chronic drug and alcohol abuse can damage relationships, and lead to severe emotional pain and unhealthy coping skills, such as enabling. You can feel like you’re relearning many things or learning skills for the first time in recovery, which often includes interacting with others, whether it’s friends, family, or romantic partners. While https://ecosoberhouse.com/ sobriety can bring significant positive changes to relationships, it’s essential to acknowledge that there can be struggles along the way. Recovery can unearth a variety of issues that individuals may encounter as they navigate their relationships. During recovery, individuals learn the importance of setting and respecting boundaries.

Likewise, surrounding yourself with positive influences and supportive people can help to create an environment that nurtures your recovery journey. When honestly looking at our past behavior while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, I think it isn’t easy to feel good about yourself. And perhaps that is the easiest and most simple definition of self-esteem.

Connection in Recovery: The Power of Human Relationships in Overcoming Addiction

Codependency occurs when one person places the needs and wants of another person above their own and to the detriment of both people. This website is using a security service to protect itself from online attacks. There are several actions that could trigger this block including submitting a certain word or phrase, a SQL command or malformed data. Don’t get me wrong, your family wants to believe you, but what they are really looking for is a guarantee. One family member describes it to me as being on a roller coaster; they would see progress get their hopes up high only to see them slide downhill into oblivion. You can’t assess where you are in your journey if you have no idea what you want to have in life.

• You can’t assess where you are in your journey if you have no idea what you want to have in life.
• With good reason, wants to let go of the past, live in the present, and move on to the future.
• There is a large body of research showing that addiction can have negative impacts on relationships, and I have never met someone in recovery who was unaware that addiction hurts loved ones.
• They don’t need to be based around getting high and checking out.
• They may well struggle with your new-found independence and desire to form new friendships.
• Being open could even help create strong friendships that last a lifetime.
• If you go to an addiction treatment program, a lot of what you’ll work on is having a healthy relationship with yourself.

In ten or 20 years, their only safe topics will be the weather or the kids. In my almost 50 years of practice, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to see where couples get into trouble. Here’s a quick list of top skills and behaviors that can make the most difference.

Healthy relationships are mutually:

Today, we’ll be exploring the complexities of navigating relationships in recovery, focusing on the process of rebuilding trust and connection with loved ones. Unhealthy relationships can begin to take a toll one’s life, whether they struggle with addiction or live a life of sobriety. If unhealthy relationships are causing you distress and to abuse harmful substances, contact a treatment provider today to discover your rehab options.

In recovery, avoiding stress as much as possible is essential for healing. While no individual’s life is completely stress-free, there is no reason to add a toxic friend, relative, or loved one to the normal sources of stress in life such as school or work. Stress is often the reason that people turn to drugs to feel relief or to “take the edge” off. Rather than entertaining a toxic relationship, it’s better to put distance between yourself and the person so they can change. However, if they can’t make a commitment to change, there is nothing wrong with ending the relationship.

Why Connection in Recovery Matters

Most people in addiction recovery have some relationships that are supportive and helpful, some that are risky or harmful for their recovery in some way, and some that are a little bit of both. Even the relationships that are generally supportive can be stressful at times, which can create high risk for recovery setbacks. An essential skill for recovery is finding ways to minimize the harmful effects and maximize the helpful effects of relationships on addiction recovery efforts. There isn’t much guidance on this, and many people in recovery are given the message that their relationships can wait until they’re further along in recovery. That makes the process of relationship recovery pretty abstract for people who aren’t engaged with couple or family therapy. Consistency and accountability play a crucial role in maintaining healthy relationships in recovery.

Some people believe it’s important to be completely upfront and let others know that you are a person in recovery during your very first encounter. Others take the position that it is best to see how the relationship develops and use that information to determine when to disclose. Although rare, there are some work situations in which a person’s recovery status might possibly be held against him or her.

Balancing a Relationship and Personal Recovery Goals

Leaving the past behind us, think about how our value and perception of ourselves plummeted as we became active in our addiction. I really think that at some deep level, we know that drinking and drugging is not a positive influence on our life. That push and pull of wanting to stop, then having to use, can play havoc with how we feel about ourselves. Or, you may notice other warning signs like frequent lying, constant put-downs, an inability or unwillingness to compromise, and controlling behavior. By taking it slow, you give yourself the opportunity to recognize these signs early and break the relationship off before you get too invested. Transparent communication allows for the honest addressing of past hurts and resentments, creating an opportunity for healing and reconciliation.

While you do have to forgive yourself and move forward, you also have to accept the impact of drugs and alcohol on every part of your life before you can do that. One of the strong points that Briana Wiest makes in her book 101 Essays That Will Change What You Think is that we can choose to be happy, and that path to happiness is gratitude. While you cannot directly control your feelings, you can control what you do. If you deliberately take time to notice and appreciate what’s good around you, what you can be thankful for—hence the practice rather than just catching it when you feel it—you can feel happiness.

Existing and new relationships offer different challenges and opportunities.

The people closest to us can support and motivate us to stay on track. They can also hold us accountable in a compassionate way when we make mistakes or fall into old habits. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of Sober Recovery’s «Terms of Use»,
«Privacy Policy»,
«Cookie Policy», and
«Health Disclaimer». The material on this site is relationships in recovery for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. One way or another, our spirituality is definitely affected if by actively using drugs or alcohol. You might guess we will be dealing with spirituality in-depth in a future session, and you would be right.

• By building connections with others who share your goals and values, you create a supportive network that can help you navigate the challenges of recovery and prevent relapse.
• It’s important to communicate our needs, limitations, and triggers to our loved ones.
• The best you can do on their bad days is be empathic and supportive.
• There are tips and resources available to help you along your SUD and relationship recovery journey.